Why I Don’t Use the Term Imposter Syndrome as a Woman of Color

Imposter syndrome is a word that has gained popularity over the past few years. While this word was originally coined in 1970 by two psychologists, the word has been used to identify or recognize the lack of trust and ability in one’s own skills. It can be defined as self doubt, questioning your capabilities, and seeing yourself as lesser than those around you. A lot of women have come forward saying that they’ve experienced imposter syndrome at a variety of levels. Some say that they feel imposter syndrome on the job, while others say they feel it within their interpersonal lives. But as a woman of color I stay away from this word. But why do I choose not to use the word imposter syndrome?

Well, for one, when the study was originally done in the 1970s it focused on a specific group of women. These were women who were either in roles of authority at the workplace, or women who were established and were upper middle class. So many women were left out of the study, women who would be important voices at the table. When speaking about imposter syndrome, the original term just focused on predominantly white educated women. If these women, who already were in positions of power in comparison to other women, were facing imposter syndrome, what would we say a woman who didn’t have the same social status?

Because the study excluded many women, especially women of color, I don't like to use the word imposter syndrome because what we experience is deeper than that. Not only can there be a lack of confidence in our abilities just because we’re women, but it can also be related to aspects of race, like how we speak, how we dress, and how we believe the world to perceive us. We don’t feel doubt because of our own confidence in our abilities, but because we believe others are doubting us before we have a chance to prove ourselves.

So for this reason I don’t use the word imposter syndrome. For one when I have those thoughts of doubt in my mind I quickly redirect my thoughts. Because the world is already perceiving me in one way so why should I succumb to it? It is hard, don’t get me wrong being in a position of power, or having a seat at the table in a world that you know you do not come from or you had no insight into. This can lead you to believe that you are not as capable and qualified as others. But I know that while my experience is unique and while my hurdles and battles are also unique, I am hoping to create and shape a path for other women who are like me to not have to face the same hurdles. While there will always be certain aspects of being a woman of color that will lead us to believe that we are at a disadvantage that is simply not true. We are more than capable, more than confident and more than knowledgeable to be able to tackle these things head on.

Choosing the Right Extracurricular Activity for Your Child

Yesterday, we talked about the upcoming school year, and today we’re doing the same! As the school year approaches, tons of questions flood our minds, and as parents, we just want to do what’s best for our child, including choosing the right sport or club for them.

So how do you choose?

I always think it’s important that when your child is old enough to start making independent decisions, they should be able to choose the type of activities they would like to do. But, if your child is around eight or younger, and may need some guidance on extracurricular activities they would like to do, how do you pick?

Here are our top three tips:

1. Think about your child’s strengths

What is your child good at? Are they confident, and great at talking? Maybe acting lessons might be their thing. Or are they super competitive and full of energy? Consider sports and see which one they like the best. You know your child the best, so see what activities they could participate in that play to their strengths and help them find the activity that is a good fit! Help them build on the traits that they already have and help strengthen them. If they have a natural talent for music, put them in vocal lessons or piano class.

2. Think about your child’s weakness

While we always want to see our children succeed, we also need to be realistic and realize sometimes they need an extra nudge to get there. No matter how great of a person they are, just like anyone, there is room for improvement. If your child is on the shy side, put them in something that will get them out of their comfort zone. Let’s say they have a hard time working with others, put them in a team sport to help them to learn how to work collaboratively.

3. Don’t be afraid to be wrong!

This is a big one! Let’s say you thought your child would love figure skating because they like rollerblading. After a few lessons, they tell you that they don’t like it. That’s perfectly fine! Sometimes you have to go through a period or trial and error to figure out what it is that your child will like and it’s useful for both of you because you can see what might work and what doesn’t. There is no exact science to this, so just be open to trying new activities and being wrong.

Back To School Shopping - What’s That?

The countdown is on for the 2022 to 2023 school year. The past few school years have been a hectic one to say the least. With Covid, virtual learning, and hybrid learning, students had to learn how to adjust so many things and I think that the confirmation of a back-to-school in person this year is going to get them more excited than ever. Kids think about so many things when going back to school, like what friends they'll make this year, and what classes they will be taking but when it comes to back-to-school shopping, that’s usually parent territory. So what is back-to-school shopping exactly?

Some parents find it as only buying the necessities for the school year. New binders, notebooks, pens, and pencils. While others consider it a time to buy new clothes, new sneakers, and new backpacks, so when it comes to back-to-school shopping, where do you draw the line?

Based on your parenting style, you could either buy your child everything in the beginning of the school year or on an as-needed basis, but it’s completely up to you. Deciding what you want to include in back-to-school shopping and what counts as a necessity versus what isn't, is also a personal choice. For example, my sister-in-law considered a few things as necessities when back to school shopping for my nephew. She considered a new phone and iPad back to school shopping. But I saw that more as just general shopping. I didn’t see how it correlated with the school year. What’s the difference between getting a phone before the school year or in the summer? Her reasoning was she would need to keep in contact with my nephew at school and it was a perfect back-to-school item so she included that her back-to-school budget.

Growing up, my mom considered back-to-school shopping binders, notebooks and then a backpack. She would also buy us a few new pairs of shoes that she expected to last us throughout the school year. Now, that’s not to say that she didn’t buy us other things throughout the year, but she expected those big purchases to last us until it was time to buy again for the next year.

So there’s no handbook when it comes to back-to-school shopping but it’s important that as the parent you set the budget and you set the expectation. If you’re including a laptop in the back-to-school budget that’s completely fine. But if you think that’s more of a gift that you want to give your child on a holiday or birthday that’s also fine. My advice to you is to just draw out the budget and go over it with your child. We hope that you enjoy your back-to-school shopping let us know in the comments what you get!