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Learning To Say No to Your Parents

Updated: Dec 5, 2022

As you become an adult, and you begin to become your own person and find yourself, it can be hard on your parents. The child at once needed them to help them get dressed and help them to ride a bike, is now independent and no longer needs them. You’ve gone out into the world, gone to college, gotten a job, and for some even started a family. But, separating yourself in that small child who was once tugging at your parents pants leg, is hard to do.

Especially, when it comes to saying no to your parents. I mean, it’s such a struggle. You’re kind of indebted to them for what feels like your entire life. They give you life, they take care of you, hopefully they support you and love you, and do everything that you need in order to be a successful adult. But once you become an adult, you learn to set boundaries with everyone else except them. So how do you say no to your parents?

Parents will naturally overstep, and they’ll always think they know better. Because, in their mind you were once the person that bought 2+2 equaled seven. They always think they know what’s best for you, know better than you and that you still need help being guided through life. So, when you suggest something or when you push back on them for something, they often ignore you and the small child comes right back. I’ve had this problem myself, and here are my tips learning to say no to your parents

  1. Always be respectful, but stand your ground. Don’t let them speak over you or ignore you just because they’re older. You’re also older and you aren’t vantage because you’re older at a time that you’re able to grasp it better than they are. Let them know that you are grateful for their advice and insight but you are also someone who has their own thoughts and opinions outside of them.

  2. Set boundaries by choosing what you want to share with them. For example, I told my dad I was dating someone new a few years ago. When it inevitably ended, he gave me this long lecture as to why this is why you take your time to get to know someone for rushing headfirst into something which is what I didn’t do. I learned maybe, it’s better to keep some things to myself.

  3. Sometimes, silence is the only answer they need. If you’ve gone on and on about your point of you and your parents are still not getting it, let it rest. Do what you wanna do, but don’t engage. Sometimes it’s better to just keep the peace then to keep going on with them. Sometimes, silence is the only answer they’ll need.

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