Updated: Dec 5, 2022
Readers, someone wrote in asking us if their partner should still have their ex-fling on social media. They said, “I’ve been in a committed relationship with my [partners for a year now. We have mutually agreed that we would not have ex’s on social media, and in the beginning of our relationship, he even requested I remove my ex’s second account from my followers, which I happily did. Now, you can imagine my surprise when one year later, I found out my ex is still following someone he used to “date” a few months before he met me. I was livid, and even more so after seeing that he recently liked one of her videos. What should I do? Is it time to call it quits?”
Well, my initial reaction was that her boyfriend was unfair and inconsiderate. For one, how does he hold her to expectations he's not holding himself to? Also- why still follow your ex-fling? I had so many questions - but these can only be answered by him. So, let’s try to see it from his perspective.
Maybe, he forgot he was following his ex, but that wouldn’t explain the recently liked video. Maybe, he didn’t see it as a big deal, but then why require his partner to not have any former lovers on their social media? Maybe he assumes the rules don’t apply to him, in which case I would tell our reader to RUN. Either way, this is not something we can answer, but she does need to get the information from her partner.
If it were me, I would either tell him we’re done because of his clear lack of boundaries and Or he would have some serious explaining to do. I mean, where's the disconnect? And what world is this okay? I think this reader's best bet is to talk directly to her partner and try to get some clarity. Because things like this can bring up insecurities, mistrust, and hurt feelings. It's important to feel secure and confident in a relationship and things like this can risk that. So my advice to anyone in a relationship, don't follow your ex, your ex fling, your ex fling from 2019, or your ex-fling from 2009 on social media. Unless you are hoping to reopen that door at some point later on down the line, I would recommend you leave it shut.